I've Got Sunshine On a Cloudy Day

I wanted to quit my job in October. I wanted to walk away from teaching and declare that it was far too challenging for me to continue my career. I brainstormed other career options, talked to people in different fields, and decided maybe this wasn't the job I thought it was. I've quit a few things in my life; playing the flute, playing softball, and running outdoor track in high school. Except for those few instances, I've never voluntarily said "I quit" to anything else in my life. I've been someone who will stick it out, keep an open mind, and cross the finish line, even if I was in last place. But in the fall, I wanted to up and leave, quit and walk away. I had a fantastically hard working team of teachers around me, I had some strong admins, and I had, technically, landed my "dream job" only two years prior. Would I regret leaving? Would I care? The disrespect I was dealt on a daily basis would make anyone want to walk away. Or fight back....

It seems like Easter is a fitting time to reflect on life, death, and what love truly is. As we reflect on Jesus and all that happened to him when he died and rose again, we realize how quickly people come and go from our lives. Life can literally be taken away in an instant. It could be death or it could be a metaphor for death if someone's mind were to vanish or personality were to completely change. We are still left feeling empty, sad, and though sometimes at peace, our hearts still sting. Just two days ago I attended a funeral for a beautiful woman, someone who lived a long, happy, and complete life. We wished her to the heavens with prayers, flowers, and fond memories. The very next day I was at a baptism, welcoming new life into the church and into God's family. Life and death. Dying and living. It was powerful to me to reflect on the proximity of these two events and how meaningful they both are. Though separate, I found such a connection on these two things occurring b...

And just like that it's 2015. Since I was in elementary school I have loved writing. I love writing poetry, creative stories, and sometimes even a good research paper. As I've mentioned, my blog has acted as my sanity, a source of release, a therapy of sorts. However, time and time again I am challenged with the daunting task of finding something to write about. I want readers, followers, fans even! But when I come on here to type, it's always the same thing. Positivity, gratefulness, being blessed, the obsession with my friends and family, etc. I don't try new recipes and write about them. I'm not on some crazy diet and stop in to report results. I'm not in a book club where I post discussion questions. I simply write what's on my mind and those things are obviously frequently the same. How do I just pick a topic? How will I ever complete my life long goal of writing a book? One thing, I will say, that I have become ever so passionate and consistent abo...

When I come home from my typical 9 hour day at work, it doesn't end there. I'm usually starving since my "lunch" break is at 10:50am, and I'm usually already ready for sweats, my toothbrush, and my bed. But it's not over. The stack of papers I have to grade has traveled home with me, the colored markers are neatly on my desk. Different correcting colors for different moods. (A lot of red lately.) The list of things to do after that is never-ending: write agendas, type out meeting minutes, plan lessons and units and tests, write lessons and units and tests, PPT forms, SAT forms, behavioral sheets, etc...etc...etc.... I won't bore you. It's a tough job. And lately it's gotten tougher. The disrespect, the cell phones, the sense of entitlement of these hormonal teens is astonishing at times. For a job I felt I was born to do, I also have been feeling physically and mentally worn down. And it's not even November. There are only 38 days until my ne...

The state of Connecticut isn't always thought of as a vacation destination or even much more than a rest  stop along a route heading elsewhere. Growing up in Connecticut was good at best; my family could go to the beach, a park, an ice rink, or even a museum if we so desired. Our neighborhoods were packed with kids, tree houses, and friendly faces. There were occasional sporting events to attend (RIP Hartford Whalers and New Haven Ravens) and there were good schools where my sister and I made great friends. Connecticut is lucky enough to experience all four seasons which means there's always something else to look forward to from Mother Nature. We are also a state fortunate enough to be considered part of picturesque New England yet also part of the hustling, bustling Tri-State Area. Connecticut is a unique place. A place known for high taxes, bad highways, rich people, and poor people. A state where native Connecticuters speak with no accent and drive with no road rage, (ha.) ...

I've checked something off of my year long to-do list, finally. After hemming and hawing and finding a thousand excuses and reasons not to do it, I finally did it. I signed up for a gym membership! Big deal, right? So what? Well, this is the first time in my life I've signed up for a gym. In high school I was a "runner," in college I would walk across campus to go to the gym, but that was easy- it was free and it was close and I could go with my friends and roommates. What's not to love? After college, I would run and exercise whenever I could on the quiet, peaceful trail near my house. I also got more into yoga and would go as much as I could. I became obsessed with yoga- everything about it was positive and made me feel good. I loved the spiritual side of it, the relaxation of it, but I also felt it was a great workout and detox after spending 8 hours a day with hormonal teenagers. However, six weeks ago I moved into a new apartment and I'm farther away fo...

There are a lot of things on my mind currently, one of which is how few blog followers I have. How can I get more? Then the thought crosses my mind; why would anyone want to follow or even read my blog? I have no exciting life story, no fun diet, workout plan or adversity that I'm facing to write about in detail. No cross country road trip, innovative recipe, or new location to explore. I find solace in my blog, even peace. Sometimes I crave this blog to release the rush of emotions from my head. Often times, as soon as I sit down to type, I am at a loss. Recently, the different emotions that have been traveling through my veins are enough to cause that too familiar feeling of anxiety, a feeling that I thought had gone away for a long while. The typical stress from work, from feeling overwhelmed, and from facing change never seem to go away. Add on the stress of toxic and less toxic but still toxic relationships, of envy, jealousy, wonder, and awe. Of course there is happiness, joy...