Self Reflection

It's time to check in with myself and see how things are going. As the sun shines brilliantly through yellow and orange leaves and I patiently hold on to every last bit of autumn sunshine for the day, I find myself thinking back to where I was last summer. Summer 2012 found myself in places I didn't think I'd be, but in places and with people that I was excited to welcome with open arms. I had read a book called "The Happiness Project" and decided that as part of my daily life I was going to challenge myself and model after the author by creating my own rules to live by. I titled these rules my own Ten Commandments. A year later, I am reflecting on how the rules are going, if they've helped me, if they've calmed some of my anxiety, and if they are worth the effort I put in to brainstorming and practicing them last summer. 

My first commandment is "think before you speak." I'd say overall this has helped me avoid situations I might not want to be in by thinking about those whom I am talking to and keeping their reaction in mind. It's a basic common sense rule- think before you speak. As a teacher this has become an even more important rule to live by and one I try to focus on both in and out of the classroom.

Practice patience. Here is my second commandment, and one that I'm not very good at. I'm impatient at waiting more than anything. I'm impatient with slow people, with slow responses, and with slow traffic. All of which can be dangerous at times. Practicing patience and stillness is something that is utterly important in the practice of yoga, and one that takes a lot of practice to master. A work in progress.

Thirdly, I gave myself the rule to breathe deeply. It is physically impossible to have a panic or anxiety attack while taking deep breaths. I do this often, especially while driving or while faced with a tough situation. So far, so good!

"This too shall pass" is a very, very good self motto, one that I continue to use time after time.

As you can see just a few posts down, I believe it is important to count your blessings. I try to do this on a daily basis, noticing the little things around me that bring me happiness and serenity. This is something I do pretty well I have to say. I even taught my students to practice showing gratitude, even in the darkest of times. 

The world is not out to get me. Here lies my 6th rule. In a year I've noticed myself getting better at this one, I used to consider myself crazy and think people were mad at me or disappointed in me for the silliest reasons. This commandment has helped me, and continues to do so. As my friend pointed out to me just this morning, "you're human." She's right. It's simple; humans have feelings and shouldn't hide them or be ashamed of them. I would couple this commandment with my other favorite phrase, "you can't feel bad for the way you feel."

Learn how to trust and overcome is my 7th commandment, and after betrayals, dishonesty and hurt in my life, it's hard to bounce back and openly trust just anyone. However, I do think combined with the growing up I've done, I have also learned from the past and the not so honest people in my life, chosen to accept them for who they are, and continue to move on while focusing my love and energy on the family and friends that reciprocate it.

My 8th commandment is learn to compromise. Call it what you will, flexibility, balance, compromise. This is still a work in progress, and always will be, because I believe it is the ultimate key to a successful and ever-growing relationship.

Find the positive in every situation. My 9th and most practiced commandment. I personally believe this is the one that I am the best at. I think after about two years of practicing positivity and learning how to adjust my thinking, it certainly comes more naturally. I try to teach this concept to friends and family, and even my students. I will admit that I think this ability is one of my best characteristics, and one that I am proud of.

Last but not least, I taught myself to be proud to be me. With practice and trial, I learned that those who accept me will be there, and those who don't, won't. There's not much I can do about it, but I shouldn't change my ways to please anyone except myself. I also think my personality isn't extremely harsh that people won't accept me. So far, I've been pretty successful.

Sometimes I think about these commandments, and sometimes they slip my mind. Through written reminders, the practice of yoga and meditation, and self-reflection, I believe these have helped me and inspired me to continue to be the person that I am. The positive influences and amazing role models that are in my life have also helped me in tremendous ways. The support system that I have is beyond helpful and reminds me so often of how blessed and lucky I truly am. 

To end, here is a quote that I read last week and fell in love with:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
-Melody Beattie

Courtesy of values.com

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