I've Got Sunshine On a Cloudy Day

It's been a month since we've been in school and since I've seen my students. A month filled with much emotion, stress, uncertainty, anxiety, and worry. It's also been a month filled with new routines, overwhelming gratitude, a greater appreciation for technology, stronger human connections, and even some beautiful moments. This strangeness we are living in reminds me just how much I love teaching our amazing students and makes me realize I miss them more than I thought was even possible. Here's the last picture we took together one month ago. I remember the deep and meaningful conversations we had that day, I remember their questions, I remember their nerves. We headed to the gym together, stayed strong, powered through our anxiety, and smiled about being together in our safe space. 

It's been almost a month since the quarantine lockdown began and despite the heavy waves of painful anxiety that come and go this has been a wonderful practice in gratitude. I've been incredibly grateful and definitely privileged to be in my house with a deck and a yard, with my loving husband, our technology, our salaries, and most importantly, our health. It's a crazy time for everyone but to be honest I've somewhat enjoyed slowing down and reevaluating what really matters in life. As a teacher, however, I'm heartbroken. I'm sad. And I'm supposed to be the strong one. The one who says "everything is fine, it's probably just a drill, please quiet down" during lockdowns when I'm scared. The one who tells my students that I love them because I don't know if anyone else in their lives has said that to them. I'm the one who, on March 13th, promised everything would be okay when my heart was beating faster than I knew was possible. Be

When my students feel overwhelmed and stressed, the first piece of advice I give them is to practice journaling to get their emotions out. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I should take my own advice. This quarantine, lockdown, stay at home order, coronavirus crisis is extremely scary and uncertain, and has caused me my fair share of anxiety and tears. It's hard for everyone- for parents, for people losing income, for small businesses and restaurants, for older people, for anyone prevented from seeing and spending time with friends and loved ones. We are all confused and worried and apprehensive. But for teachers, it's different and difficult. We have built our lives around helping, supporting, loving, teaching, and fostering love in a safe classroom every single day for so many students and that was just ripped away from us. We didn't just move our desks from an office to a table, and we didn't just replace in-person meetings with Zoom meetings. Our e

So here's the thing. I like to write, always have. But as I've become more of an adult, and priorities have taken over my life, I've lost the discipline (or perhaps desire?) to sit and write and edit and read and post. What's funny about that is that I am an English teacher by day, and much of our time in my classroom is spent writing and learning the ropes of basic English conventions and sentence structure. Better yet, when my students are stressed or facing trauma, they often come to me for advice. One of the first coping mechanisms I teach them about is journaling, often stopping at Marshalls or Target on my way home that very day to pick up a journal for a kid in need. I frequently say that I should take my own advice, and something sparked in me today to get back on here and do just that. Teaching is hard. Most people think teaching is easy- the people that have never taught think teaching is easy. Teaching is challenging, emotional, exhausting, trying, stressfu

Yesterday, I went with my fiance, Ryan, to get our marriage license. We were excited and giddy as we moved one step closer to our wedding, and more importantly to our marriage. Hartford City Hall is a gorgeous building of stone and marble, cool and dark inside, and ultimately beautiful. In the vital records office we each had to fill out a simple sheet with the most basic information about ourselves. There was one section that I found to be an odd request though; we each had to put where our mother and father were born. For the section inquiring about my mom I simply wrote, "New Haven, CT" which is where Ryan and I were both born too; that was easy. But next to the box asking where my dad was born I wrote one word, "Australia". I don't have a great relationship with my father, but knowing he was born on the other side of the world is something I have always found to be unique and exciting. I've always wondered, does this make me Australian? Is this part of m

Yesterday was one of those days where I was able to spend some quality time reflecting on all the good in my life and feel confident about where I am at this exact moment. I count my blessings very often and commit myself to a prayer of thanks and gratitude on a daily basis. Every single day I have something to be grateful for, in fact I have very many things, both tangible and intangible. Yesterday was a day where things connected, memories replayed themselves in my mind, and songs brought back emotional recollections from days past. I was both nostalgic and fulfilled. I woke up on a chilly autumn October Saturday feeling relaxed and excited. I prepared a few things around my apartment that smelled of cinnamon and by early afternoon I was in my car headed down to Long Island. The brilliant blue sky was accented with bright patches of orange, yellow, and vibrant red as I cruised down the highway during the almost-peak of the foliage season. We've been lucky to have an extremely v