Back to It
So here's the thing. I like to write, always have. But as I've become more of an adult, and priorities have taken over my life, I've lost the discipline (or perhaps desire?) to sit and write and edit and read and post. What's funny about that is that I am an English teacher by day, and much of our time in my classroom is spent writing and learning the ropes of basic English conventions and sentence structure. Better yet, when my students are stressed or facing trauma, they often come to me for advice. One of the first coping mechanisms I teach them about is journaling, often stopping at Marshalls or Target on my way home that very day to pick up a journal for a kid in need. I frequently say that I should take my own advice, and something sparked in me today to get back on here and do just that.
Teaching is hard. Most people think teaching is easy- the people that have never taught think teaching is easy. Teaching is challenging, emotional, exhausting, trying, stressful, sad, intimidating, and yes- rewarding, life-changing, fun, and empowering. If you practice kindness, patience, and empathy, and work with inner city teenagers facing any and all troubles you can imagine, then yes, it might be a tad bit teeny tiny easier. The people in charge of teaching sometimes make it harder than the students make it. (In reality the students are in fact the best part!) And yet I return year after year, day after day. Even when things don't go as planned, or when I have extra amounts of unnecessary work always in front of me, or when my mind and my heart are not on the classroom but on my family. Even when people point out the negative and rarely the positive. I still go back. I still return.
Today was our first day back after summer "vacation". Today was staff only, new and old. In reflection these last few days I think the summer literally flashed by in the actual blink of an eye. It didn't float by, it didn't soar or creep or jog, it didn't take it's time. It flew so gosh darn freaking fast that today I literally had the thought, "I'll do that this summer" and just as quickly realized said summer was now over. What an abrupt end!
I will add, amidst a few teary eyed moments today, that it crossed my mind that maybe this would be my last year teaching. Maybe this would be the last room I decorated and the last organization efforts to please my OCD, or the last time I would need to add yet another book self for our ever growing library. This is the first time I truly thought that, but my heart feels different this year. Maybe it was just a bad day, maybe I was just emotional for other reasons, but maybe, in fact, my fire is burning out. I'm going to try to remain positive and hopeful and polite and compliant, and I hope to look back on this post and realize I was crazy. I am also going to try to write in here as much as I can- a way of journaling myself through another crazy year. I'm back to it- the blog and the job. Let's see how this goes.
Teaching is hard. Most people think teaching is easy- the people that have never taught think teaching is easy. Teaching is challenging, emotional, exhausting, trying, stressful, sad, intimidating, and yes- rewarding, life-changing, fun, and empowering. If you practice kindness, patience, and empathy, and work with inner city teenagers facing any and all troubles you can imagine, then yes, it might be a tad bit teeny tiny easier. The people in charge of teaching sometimes make it harder than the students make it. (In reality the students are in fact the best part!) And yet I return year after year, day after day. Even when things don't go as planned, or when I have extra amounts of unnecessary work always in front of me, or when my mind and my heart are not on the classroom but on my family. Even when people point out the negative and rarely the positive. I still go back. I still return.
Today was our first day back after summer "vacation". Today was staff only, new and old. In reflection these last few days I think the summer literally flashed by in the actual blink of an eye. It didn't float by, it didn't soar or creep or jog, it didn't take it's time. It flew so gosh darn freaking fast that today I literally had the thought, "I'll do that this summer" and just as quickly realized said summer was now over. What an abrupt end!
I will add, amidst a few teary eyed moments today, that it crossed my mind that maybe this would be my last year teaching. Maybe this would be the last room I decorated and the last organization efforts to please my OCD, or the last time I would need to add yet another book self for our ever growing library. This is the first time I truly thought that, but my heart feels different this year. Maybe it was just a bad day, maybe I was just emotional for other reasons, but maybe, in fact, my fire is burning out. I'm going to try to remain positive and hopeful and polite and compliant, and I hope to look back on this post and realize I was crazy. I am also going to try to write in here as much as I can- a way of journaling myself through another crazy year. I'm back to it- the blog and the job. Let's see how this goes.
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