Journaling 101

When my students feel overwhelmed and stressed, the first piece of advice I give them is to practice journaling to get their emotions out. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I should take my own advice. This quarantine, lockdown, stay at home order, coronavirus crisis is extremely scary and uncertain, and has caused me my fair share of anxiety and tears. It's hard for everyone- for parents, for people losing income, for small businesses and restaurants, for older people, for anyone prevented from seeing and spending time with friends and loved ones. We are all confused and worried and apprehensive. But for teachers, it's different and difficult. We have built our lives around helping, supporting, loving, teaching, and fostering love in a safe classroom every single day for so many students and that was just ripped away from us. We didn't just move our desks from an office to a table, and we didn't just replace in-person meetings with Zoom meetings. Our entire lifestyle was changed and we are left worrying and wondering about our kids and hoping for the best. We were also left completely recreating what our teaching looks like as we moved everything online and rushed to contact families and get them the technology they need. The power of a teacher is immeasurable and the love they provide is endless. 

I've encouraged my students to journal through this process and turn in their weekly homework to me with stories of what they've done while stuck at home. Some responses are completely heart wrenching, others are profound and special. Whatever they say brings me to tears at some point, usually instantly, and reassures how much I miss them and how passionate I am about what I do for a living. I've decided to dedicate some of this blog to our emotional journey together. Since day one of school this year I've known this was an incredibly special group; they have taught me how emotional and absolutely adoring teaching can be. And there's nothing I'd rather be doing, but I'd prefer to teach in room 334, not from my kitchen island. 

Please enjoy these raw, emotional, wise, and intense responses from my incredible students. 

"My weekend has been fine but I am kind of missing school and I am here in my house because I can’t go out but I understand that is better staying safe but it just boring being in the house all day. Anyways there is a lot of emotions and feelings, yesterday I had a mental breakdown before going to sleep I don’t know but at night I always feel this way because I start thinking about things, how I miss my friends and how I don’t know anything about some of my close friends and everything in general I look back at some memories, pictures, letters, and the journal you gave me I looked back at things and I just was feeling so sad I just couldn't stop crying but then after a fews minutes a was controlling myself  but things came back I just want this to be over and go to school again we all say that we don’t want to go to school but in reality you start to miss everybody your teachers class and I really am grateful and I won't take for granted my school It's overwhelming and a lot to take I will try my best to stay positive also thank you Mrs. Matthews you have been a amazing teacher and someone I can rely on somethings when I am sad I think of you because you been there always and your very caring sometimes you make me feel better, over all my weekends have been the same." 

-TM, 14

"This week was good because I was watching netflix with the family lately. I have helped clean the house since the last day that I was in school. I actually helped my mom to cook delicious food and everything I love helping my mom in the house. Yesterday I helped my mom to cook rice with garbanzos, chicken and macaroni and cheese it was delicious. I read my book on Sunday and I finished it. It was really good but it was sad because they didn't have justice for Alfonso but it was good. I really miss going to school. I feel uncontrollable doing work on the computer but I will do my best to put my grades up and keep track of my work. Today I helped my two brothers with their homework. It was fun because I didn't know that I was that smart for math like I still can’t believe it. My mom was in shock because she knows that I am not that good in Math and she said that it was good the way that I explained everything. Today I am almost finishing with all my work it feels weird to do it in a computer but I hope that this coronavirus stops because I want to go to school and see my teachers and friends and get a new book to read a little bit more even thought that I got books in here, I will be done with them soon. But it is actually good to spend time with the family and everything. The only thing that I don't like is that we can't go outside or anything but my week is being great with the people that I love the most. I actually like being home with my mom and my two brothers."

-EL, 14