The Game of Life

Over the past few months I have learned to train my brain and my thoughts within my brain to stay positive. I'll be the first one to tell you that not knowing the next step in one's life is although at times exhilarating, most definitely unsettling and, to say the least, stressful. There have been studies done and polls taken which show that people need some sort of stress in their lives to keep moving, to keep on keeping on. If we strolled down Easy Street at all times with no curves or bumps or detour signs, nothing would get done and even the most motivated and driven people would become lazy and comfortable in their own daily rituals. I personally enjoy reading motivational books written by people that have overcome a wide range of adversity. I enjoy reading inspirational and thought-provoking quotations written by people, in some cases, hundreds of years ago before many of the stressors in my life ever even existed, but that still stand so true no matter the time, era, or circumstance. I enjoy reading short books or listening to songs that seem like commencement speeches addressing the next step in life one should take after such drastic milestones, that offer the perfect combination of advice and hope for a quick boost of freshness. I am a post-it note loving, OCD-driven organizer, and I truly enjoy looking up at the wall behind my desk and seeing neon, sticky squares politely and constantly reminding me that things will get better, or that life will get easier, or that faith will carry me through difficult times.

I would, indeed, like to say that I suppose this isn't much of a "difficult time" for me per say, just an unsettling one. A time that can move in any direction at any moment without a warning sign. A time that is filled with many other aspects that I've always wished I could spend more time on, such as my writing, free reading, and my work outs and trainings that will prepare me for my next race. I'm learning many things about myself through this process of maddening uncertainty. I'm learning that my happiness is and should be a main concern in everything that I do. In order to stay sane and continue smiling, sometimes I have to do things for myself. There is nothing I enjoy more than when my heart warms up with the sight or feeling of making someone else happy, especially someone special to me. It is the little things in life that I think about continuously that make me happy. It is the sunshine through the bright, lime green tree leaves that seems to reflect off their shiny, waxy leaves. It is the particularly perfect rhythm to a song that might have a powerful meaning to a friend in need. Because of my own love and appreciation for the little things, I love nothing more than making my friends smile by sharing these little, meaningful things with them- the cards, the songs, the flowers- whatever it may be. Women in many different cultures focus on themselves and their beauty throughout their lives, including wearing strikingly beautiful and colorful garments, many jewels, or makeup. In particular, it is in the Italian culture to take a break everyday and relax- from work, from cleaning, from the all day activity that is cooking pasta and fresh, from scratch, tomato sauce. It is these little things that make them happy and with that happiness comes a glow about a person that becomes contagious, addicting. I try to take all of the positives from the people that surround me, the pieces of the little things that make me smile, the language of bumper stickers, and my everyday blessings to realize how certain this apparent time of uncertainty actually is. It is these reminders that bring me back down to earth and make me feel whole. I may be treading water, but at least I have water to tread.

I can take a coin and toss it with an array of hopefulness into a fountain while I make my wish that the game of life will eventually allow me to win, but until I focus wholeheartedly on the task at hand- the task of thinking positively and keeping a positive attitude through all the curves on the road of life, the task of leaving behind the toxic people and erasing toxic memories, the task of spreading my happiness and optimism quietly into the people that are near me, the task of hopefully erasing this bad-attitude rap that I seem to have among friends and family and hoping that they can see the new positive outlook I have and the love I include in everything I do, the task of putting every last effort that I wake up with everyday into applying for jobs, networking, researching, and working endlessly in order for it to pay off. I have made a devotion to myself to enjoy this undetermined journey, this physics of the quest, this road that I am currently on to learn about myself and my surroundings, to become the person that I am the happiest with, and to learn to never give up when I begin to feel like I'm losing, and no matter what, to never lose sight of what is at the end of the tunnel. The light will soon be shed. "Maybe it's not my life that is so chaotic, it's the world around me" -Eat, Pray, Love. That is what we call life.

"Yeah, life throws your curves,
But you learn to swerve."
-Rascal Flatts, "These Days"

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