"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...
And be one traveler, long I stood."
There are many times in our lives when we are faced with a complex decision. Along with the decision that is weighing us down comes the option to make a last call, a final answer. Often times a tough decision can be simple- should I wear jeans or a dress? Should I eat cereal or pancakes? Should we leave at nine or at ten? However, as we grow up and move more towards adulthood (and I suppose I shouldn't refer to the subject as "we", as I am only trying to justify with myself) I am often times faced with more extreme, important decisions. The time has crept up to me again and I am faced with an overwhelmingly emotional decision. The decision could possibly be between my head and my heart, or my wants and my needs, but regardless of what the circumstances are, Juminy Cricket is telling me no. Jiminy is telling me that something else will come about- that it will all work out just the way it was meant to. I find it easy to turn to song lyrics, quotes, and inspirational people, such as my mother. In reality, it is the thoughts and feelings surging through my own body and my own mind that matter. If there is a feeling of joy and excitement, by all means act on it. But in this situation, in this decision making process, that infamous "gut" we feel, can be ever so true. The anxiety I felt, that sharp pang that came the very instant my mind gears started winding, was not healthy. The tears that welled up in my eyes should not be there if this were a true opportunity. Perhaps it is the underlying feelings inside us that speak the quiet truth. Whether the answer came to me philosophically, scientifically, or instinctually, nevertheless it came. I am not missing anything by saying no to my first job offer. Another one will come. Despite the economy and the dread of having to complete still more applications, my sanity and happiness were on the line as well. At what point do we draw that line between health and rationality? It is in my mind that these positive acts take place and that is the way I try to always think. I've noticed myself acting more sincere and perhaps losing the evil twin rap that I may have developed. Honesty is the best policy, with respect to those in receipt of the honesty, I believe. But I do it tastefully. That is who I am. Another aspect of my being is that I think a whole lot. I think of every little situation whether relevant to the current decision or on the other end of the spectrum. The weather that was happening as I began this blog post was one of those crazy New England summer minutes, which I found justifying. Like most summer afternoons, the sun was shining, scorching my window, my fan squeaking above to keep me cool. Not an instant later the rain was pouring on the ground outside. The sun still tried to shine through, though it had to hide and let the rain take over for a small period of time. Soon enough however, without a fight, the sun came back through the raindrops. This was proof in the decision I have made up in my mind. The rain had stopped, the mist cleared, and the sun glistened on the world below, once again.
"Only rainbows after rain
The sun will always come again.
And its a circle, circling,
Around again, it comes around again."
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